The events of this weekend, well of my Grandmother's passing away, has gotten me to thinking of the usual topics one would think. Life, death, living. I haven't had a blood relative die since my Grandpa Graham died from lung cancer about 20 years ago. So I'm not all that used to death. My wife has had all her grandparents pass away, some fairly recently, so she's a little more accumulated to it. If one could ever be.
I'm still debating whether or not I should make the effort to fly out to CA. Things are still up in the air. My Aunt isn't going to tell my Grandpa that his wife is gone until she gets out of the hospital herself, so the funeral is in stasis. I believe she will be cremated anyways.
Wouldn't that suck to be the absolute last to know about something like that?
Anyways, I had this awesome teacher back in high school, Doc Szymkowiak. He was my Spanish teacher, multilingual and funny as hell. Like a second father to me for awhile, I always valued his advice and full outlook on life. But he had gout problems, and when I was in college he passed away. I didn't find out about it till much later, my parents assumed I knew and let it drop at dinner one time. I was pretty devastated, and always guilty I couldn't have gone to his funeral. So part of that is what is driving me to consider flying out to CA.
But what is a funeral really for, anyways? They almost never end up being a celebration of one's life, and why should we really be mourning a person's passing on to a new and better life? Isn't that inherently selfish of us, to cling to their memories in such a negative way?
Are we truly honoring them in such a fashion?
I can use three days of bereavement leave if I want to, already gotten the approval from my boss. And I suppose we could swing the ticket price. Would the rest of my family out there think less of the family on this side of the continent of none of us show? Does that opinion really mater all that much to me?
Do I really need the stress of all this? Am I doing a disservice to my grandmother's memory by putting so much emphasis on the symbolism of this earthly life, where instead I should be celebrating her ascension to a new level of existence?
I think I'm developing another migraine.
I'm still debating whether or not I should make the effort to fly out to CA. Things are still up in the air. My Aunt isn't going to tell my Grandpa that his wife is gone until she gets out of the hospital herself, so the funeral is in stasis. I believe she will be cremated anyways.
Wouldn't that suck to be the absolute last to know about something like that?
Anyways, I had this awesome teacher back in high school, Doc Szymkowiak. He was my Spanish teacher, multilingual and funny as hell. Like a second father to me for awhile, I always valued his advice and full outlook on life. But he had gout problems, and when I was in college he passed away. I didn't find out about it till much later, my parents assumed I knew and let it drop at dinner one time. I was pretty devastated, and always guilty I couldn't have gone to his funeral. So part of that is what is driving me to consider flying out to CA.
But what is a funeral really for, anyways? They almost never end up being a celebration of one's life, and why should we really be mourning a person's passing on to a new and better life? Isn't that inherently selfish of us, to cling to their memories in such a negative way?
Are we truly honoring them in such a fashion?
I can use three days of bereavement leave if I want to, already gotten the approval from my boss. And I suppose we could swing the ticket price. Would the rest of my family out there think less of the family on this side of the continent of none of us show? Does that opinion really mater all that much to me?
Do I really need the stress of all this? Am I doing a disservice to my grandmother's memory by putting so much emphasis on the symbolism of this earthly life, where instead I should be celebrating her ascension to a new level of existence?
I think I'm developing another migraine.
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