Root access is not approved for you because...

Root access is not approved for you because...

[ ] You thought rm -rf / was a good idea the last time you had root access.
[ ] You are the Random Production Script Runner Guy we were looking for for the past year.
[ ] You slept with (my/the bosses'/someone else's six-year-old) daughter.
[ ] Separating the employees into user groups "clowns", "idiots", and "doomed" was frowned upon by management.
[X] There was a failed installation of Doom 3 on the webserver.

The Admins

In honor of SysAdmin Day, the required list for today:

Getting the most from your IT department

1. When you call us to have your computer moved or fixed, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of postcards, baby pictures, stuffed animals, dried flowers, bowling trophies and children's art. We don't have a life, and we find it deeply moving to catch a fleeting glimpse of yours.

2. Don't write anything down. Ever. We can play back the error messages from here.

3. When an IT person says he's coming right over, go for coffee. That way you won't be there when we need your password. It's nothing for us to remember 300 user passwords.

4. When you call the help desk, state what you want, not what's keeping you from getting it. We don't need to know that you can't get into your mail because your computer won't power on at all.

6. When IT support sends you an e-mail with high importance, delete it at once. We're just testing.

7. When an IT person is eating lunch at his desk, walk right in and spill your guts right out. We exist only to serve.

8. Send urgent email all in uppercase. The mail server picks it up and flags it as a rush delivery.

9. When the photocopier doesn't work, call computer support. There's electronics in it. Ditto for the microwave, timeclock, and coffee maker. Hell, if it plugs in, we're probably in charge of it anyway.

10. When you're getting a NO DIAL TONE message at home, call computer support. We can fix your telephone line from here.

11. When you have a dozen old computer screens to get rid of, call computer support. We're collectors.

12. When something's wrong with your home PC, dump it on an IT person's chair with no name, no phone number and no description of the problem. We love a puzzle.

13. When an IT person tells you that computer screens don't have cartridges in them, argue. We love a good argument.

14. When an IT person tells you that he'll be there shortly, reply in a scathing tone of voice: "And just how many weeks do you mean by shortly?". That motivates us.

15. When the printer won't print, re-send the job at least 20 times. Print jobs frequently get sucked into black holes.

16. When the printer still won't print after 20 tries, send the job to all 68 printers in the company. One of them is bound to work.

17. Don't learn the proper name for anything technical. We know exactly what you mean by "my thingy blew up".

18. Don't use on-line help. On-line help is for wimps.

19. If the mouse cable keeps knocking down the framed picture of your dog, lift the computer and stuff the cable under it. Mouse cables were designed to have 40lb of computer sitting on top of them.

20. If the space bar on your keyboard doesn't work, blame it on the mail upgrade. Keyboards are actually very happy with half a pound of muffin crumbs and nail clippings in them.

21. When you get a message saying "Are you sure?" click on that Yes button as fast as you can. Hell, if you weren't sure, you wouldn't be doing it, would you?

22. When you find an IT person on the phone with his bank, sit uninvited on the corner of his desk and stare at him until he hangs up. We don't have any money to speak of anyway.

23. Feel perfectly free to say things like "I don't know nothing about that computer crap". We don't mind at all hearing our area of professional expertise referred to as crap.

24. When you need to change the toner cartridge in a printer, call IT support. Changing a toner cartridge is an extremely complex task, and Hewlett-Packard recommends that it be performed only by a professional engineer with a master's degree in nuclear physics.

25. When you can't find someone in the government directory, call IT Support.

26. When you have a lock to pick on an old file cabinet, call IT Support. We love to hack.

27. When something's the matter with your computer, ask your secretary to call the help desk. We enjoy the challenge of having to deal with a third party who doesn't know anything about the problem.

28. When you receive a 50MB movie file, send it to everyone as a mail attachment. We've got lots of disk space on that mail server.

29. Don't even think of breaking large print jobs down into smaller chunks. Somebody else might get a chance to squeeze a memo into the queue.

30. When an IT person gets on the elevator pushing $100,000 worth of computer equipment on a cart, ask in a very loud voice: "Good grief, you take the elevator to go DOWN one floor?!?" That's another one that cracks us up no end.

31. When you lose your car keys or go to lunch, send an email to the entire company. People down in Las Vegas like to keep abreast of what's going on.

32. When you bump into an IT person at the grocery store on a Saturday, ask a computer question. We do weekends.

33. Don't bother to tell us when you move computers around on your own. Computer names are just a cosmetic feature.

34. When you bring your own personal home PC for repair at the office, leave the documentation at home. We'll find all the settings and drivers somewhere.

35. In no way do we believe that end-users are ungrateful. It hurts our feelings that one could even think such a thing on the basis of the above statements. In truth we wish to express our deepest gratitude to the hundreds of wonderful end-users portrayed herein, without whom none of this would have been remotely possible.

We truly love you, end-users, you spice up our lives no end.

15-Case Power Tower Round-Up

From Tom's Hardware Guide, this article was published a little while ago (June 7) but these cases are SWEET! I'm really digging the new Lian Li PC-V1000 case here, but I'm totally in love with the Chieftec BX-01 for its hard drive capacity. Definitely a good read.

Laser Geekage

This is a project that my brother-in-law down in Newport News is working on, thought I'd pass it along.

"Free-Electron Laser Reaches 10 Kilowatts"

Which RAID level is right for me?

The right choice depends on the application. The RAID Levels below provide a brief summary and general uses. Not all RAID controllers support all RAID Levels, but a hardware RAID solution is generally recommended over a software solution.

Level 0 (striping)

Any application which requires very high speed storage, but does not need redundancy. Photoshop temporary files are a good example.

Level 1 (mirroring)

Applications which require redundancy with fast random writes; entry-level systems where only two drives are available. Small file servers are an example.

Level 0/1 or 10 (mirroring and striping)

Dual level raid, combines multiple mirrored drives (RAID 1) with data striping (RAID 0) into a single array. Provides highest performance with data protection.

Level 5 (distributed parity)

Similar to level 3, but may provide higher performance if most I/O is random and in small chunks. Database servers are an example.

Level 0/5 or 50 (distributed parity and striping)

Dual level raid, combines multiple RAID 5 sets with data striping (RAID 0). Increased reliability and performance over standard RAID 5 that can stand a multiple drive failure; one hard drive per RAID 5 set.


Guess what tomorrow is?

System Administrator Appreciation Day (Celebrated annually on last Friday of July) - Show your appreciation!

Check it out...

New site design, woohoo! Obviously, based upon the Blogger template. I was originally trying to force Blogger to my own template, and then realized that this one was way better than mine anyway, and so a site redeign was born. Streamlined it a bit, but there's more to do. At least it all looks fairly spiffy now.


kewl new kit

Got some old hardware from my Dad this weekend. His old HP Pavilion 4550Z (Celeron) has an Iomega Jaz drive, I think I'll make it my backup server (would Linux run the Jaz?) and call it Honeydew. And I also got (drum roll...) A FREAKIN' 21" MONITOR! W00t! It's a Compaq QVision 210, a little old but still in great shape... using it at home now, it's amonster and takes up most of the desk, but it is SWEET!

'Nuff said.

Kevin & Joanna Graham

Wedding this past weekend was great. My little brother finally got hitched. Just for posterity's sake here's my Best Man's speech:
I guess it's time for me to make the traditional speech as Kevin's best man. And since he knows just how much I love getting up and talking in front of a crowd, I'm sure he'll forgive me for making this brief.

Kevin was the best man at my own wedding 10 years ago. It is my incredible honor to return the favor and be by his side today when he married Joanna.

I've always been proud of Kevin and all he has accomplished, and as time goes on my admiration of him just increases. He's an incredible lucky man to have convinced a woman of Joanna's intelligence, quality and class to marry him; and Joanna, though apparently quite gullible, is lucky to have married such a great man.

I do wish them all the best of luck with all the love in my heart.

Here's to Kevin and Joanna Graham.
All my best, guys, and have a wonderful honeymoon.


id Software's Official DOOM3 Benchmarks

Much of the gaming and hardware community has been waiting with bated breath for DOOM 3 from id Software. That time is almost here, but before the game goes for sale on store shelves, id Software has been kind enough to do some things for the community so we can all hit the ground running and be ready for our DOOM3 experience from the moment we open the box.
According to the article, they were playing DOOM 3 on a 1.5GHz Pentium 4 box with a GeForce 4 MX440 video card and having a surprisingly good gaming experience. Even a subtle jump to an AMD 2500+ with a GeForce 3 video card that is two years old delivered a solid gaming experience that will let you enjoy the game the way id Software designed it to be.


Upgrade successful, woohoo! Now running WinXP Pro on Neuromancer (and it's called that now instead of BET1003 or whatever stupid thing it was before...). I'm still having issues with switching between home and work workgroups, haven't found a seamless way to do it.

On the plus side, getting the laptop to connect with the wireless router was never easier! And with WPA now, to boot!


Email Post Test

OK, so I'm just testing to see if the email posting works. This is a really cool setup. Don't know why I didn't do this before.

I need to work on my own template, so the blogger page looks more like my homepage.

Oh, and I haven't done the upgrade yet, I was too busy this weekend with other stuff. I'll try to finagle it today.


Wish me luck...

This weekend I'm planning on taking my work laptop (Neuromancer) and replacing the Win2K partition with WinXP Pro. Hopefully I won't lose the data partition or the Debian one, but I'm worried I will mess up the boot loader and won't be able to get into Debian again... we shall see...

I have quite the list of items to install. I didn't realize I had so many programs in use. I won't be deterred, though, as every time I wait 10 minutes for Win2K to boot, or another 10 for Outlook to load, I am more firmly set on my path.

First Post

So here we are. I finally jumped on the blogging bandwagon. Not that I have much of interest to say, but I like to keep track of things in writing. Therefore, this is mostly for my own benefit. Infrequently updated, and relevant to few. But hey, at least I can pull off the old rants and such from my homepage. So even though there is old material here, this is in fact my first post on Blogger. Yay me.



Man, this game is cool. I have it set to give me two issues a day, and based on my response to those issues I determine the course of my nation. I went into Anarchy briefly, and then back to Civil Rights Lovefest as the UN Category. Now I'm a "Scandinavian Liberal Paradise". Heh. Here's the blurb from today:

The Rogue Nation of Dongyrn
"No matter where you go, there you are."
UN Category: Scandinavian Liberal Paradise
Civil Rights: World Benchmark
Economy: Fair
Political Freedoms: Very Good
Location: Moperville

The Rogue Nation of Dongyrn is a huge, environmentally stunning nation, notable for its punitive income tax rates. Its compassionate, intelligent population of 231 million enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level social equality free of the usual accompanying government corruption.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, liberal, socially-minded government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Education, Social Equality, and Healthcare. The average income tax rate is 57%, and even higher for the wealthy. A small private sector is dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry.

Space research funding has hit a recent high while several military bases are being closed down, major cities are suffering under water rationing, crowds of flag-burning protesters tend to accidentally become crowds of burning protesters, and politicians are losing their jobs in a plan to make the government 'leaner and fitter'. Crime is well under control. Dongyrn's national animal is the wolf, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its currency is the dongle.


Verizon DSL (Redux)

Still working out the kinks. Sent an email to billing to ask just what the heck my speed is supposed to be. Also looking at MapQuest again, and using a ruler (how low-tech) I'm estimating 12,600ft to the CO from my house. Sweet.

Now, there is a rumor about increased speeds to 3/768 by end of summer... most likely cost more tho...

UPDATE: Got an email back. Feh.
Thank you for your recent email, and we apologize for the untimely response. Due to the June promotion and the recent Credit Card scam, we have experienced an enormous volume of emails that have delayed us in responding to your emails within the given time frame. For this, we greatly apologize.
Your speed is at 768/128, and unfortunately you do not qualify for the 1.5/384. For assistance, should you have further questions about this, we ask that you contact our tech support at 800-567-6789.