Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Strike At Karkand was loading, as I wiggled my mouse.
Karkand had loaded, I was almost there,
There would be no flying, no stingers, no flares.
My team started spawning, it’s time to cap flags
I'll be sure to kill some bunny-hopping fags.
If I spawn really quick, maybe I’ll snag the tank,
Then head to the Hotel to shoot at their flank.
Passing the Market, I heard enemy chatter,
I turned my tank around to see them all scatter.
I stepped on the pedals and gave it some gas,
They hid in the same spot, they died in one blast!
So then I debated on where I should go,
Maybe to their arty, with C4 to blow.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a packed Humvee, and a driver who couldn’t steer.
The driver sees me so I have to shoot him quick,
One shot to the tires really did the trick.
More rapid than eagles the enemy came,
I killed them one by one and called them some names!
“Die n00bie! Die Lamer! You dolphin diving bitches!
I pwn j00! Die Hax0r and fags who use glitches!
You can hide on a rooftop or behind a wall,
It doesn’t matter ‘cause I will pwn j00 a11!”
I spotted a spec ops out the corner of my eye,
I nailed him with a tank round, and made that bitch fly!
I made kill after kill, my score really grew,
But I needed quick repairs and some ammo too.
My commander was useless, a total goof
What kind of retard drops supplies on a roof?
I drove around the map to buy me some time,
When I saw something else that would do just as fine.
Here came an Engy, with some AT mines to lay,
I killed him so fast, he got mad and called me gay.
I hopped out my tank to go pick up his pack,
To repair to full health and then renew my attack.
My tank was like new, so pristine and so cherry,
This would help win first place and make me so merry.
I started the engine, the tank treads did roll
Onward back into battle, first place was my goal.
Coming towards me was trouble, their APC,
I rolled up ahead as my team began to flee.
He shot once and then twice, there was no direct hit,
The driver was a total n00b, and in deep shit.
Now he wasn’t moving, he was totally still,
He was easy to hit as I went in for the kill.
I left-clicked on my mouse as I shook my head,
His APC blew up, his lame ass was dead.
I spoke not a word, and went straight back to work,
The other team called me hax0r and a jerk.
When you have this much skill, that’s just how it goes,
You’ll get no respect from those whiney-ass hoes.
The match was almost over, the ticket count low,
I got killed at the Market by that stupid ass tow.
I shouted to the n00bs who bowed before my might,
“Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good fight!”
(Kudos to cyrus360.)
Strike At Karkand was loading, as I wiggled my mouse.
Karkand had loaded, I was almost there,
There would be no flying, no stingers, no flares.
My team started spawning, it’s time to cap flags
I'll be sure to kill some bunny-hopping fags.
If I spawn really quick, maybe I’ll snag the tank,
Then head to the Hotel to shoot at their flank.
Passing the Market, I heard enemy chatter,
I turned my tank around to see them all scatter.
I stepped on the pedals and gave it some gas,
They hid in the same spot, they died in one blast!
So then I debated on where I should go,
Maybe to their arty, with C4 to blow.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a packed Humvee, and a driver who couldn’t steer.
The driver sees me so I have to shoot him quick,
One shot to the tires really did the trick.
More rapid than eagles the enemy came,
I killed them one by one and called them some names!
“Die n00bie! Die Lamer! You dolphin diving bitches!
I pwn j00! Die Hax0r and fags who use glitches!
You can hide on a rooftop or behind a wall,
It doesn’t matter ‘cause I will pwn j00 a11!”
I spotted a spec ops out the corner of my eye,
I nailed him with a tank round, and made that bitch fly!
I made kill after kill, my score really grew,
But I needed quick repairs and some ammo too.
My commander was useless, a total goof
What kind of retard drops supplies on a roof?
I drove around the map to buy me some time,
When I saw something else that would do just as fine.
Here came an Engy, with some AT mines to lay,
I killed him so fast, he got mad and called me gay.
I hopped out my tank to go pick up his pack,
To repair to full health and then renew my attack.
My tank was like new, so pristine and so cherry,
This would help win first place and make me so merry.
I started the engine, the tank treads did roll
Onward back into battle, first place was my goal.
Coming towards me was trouble, their APC,
I rolled up ahead as my team began to flee.
He shot once and then twice, there was no direct hit,
The driver was a total n00b, and in deep shit.
Now he wasn’t moving, he was totally still,
He was easy to hit as I went in for the kill.
I left-clicked on my mouse as I shook my head,
His APC blew up, his lame ass was dead.
I spoke not a word, and went straight back to work,
The other team called me hax0r and a jerk.
When you have this much skill, that’s just how it goes,
You’ll get no respect from those whiney-ass hoes.
The match was almost over, the ticket count low,
I got killed at the Market by that stupid ass tow.
I shouted to the n00bs who bowed before my might,
“Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good fight!”
(Kudos to cyrus360.)
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